LeCaptain Talks LeCancer

 WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE NEW SEASON OF DEAD TO ME  AND THE MIDNIGHT CLUB BOTH STREAMING ON NETFLIX I sincerely can't tell if there is more representation of cancer in the media these days, or if I'm only just noticing it more because I, myself, have it. I'm watching the new and final season of Dead to Me , starring Christina Applegate and Linda Cardellini, which just dropped today. By the end of the first episode, we learn that Linda Cardellini may have cancer. In October, Mike Flanagan dropped his latest spooky series called The Midnight Club , which follows a troupe of terminally ill teenagers who've chosen to live out the rest of their lives in hospice care, together. Every night at midnight they sneak into the basement and tell stories over stolen wine and the glow of a raging fire. The first ten minutes of the series show a young girl receiving a cancer diagnosis. If you know me, you know I dabble in the dark (humor) arts, and I certainly don&#

In 2019 I ran the Bank of America Chicago Marathon. When I finished, I swore I would never do it again. This weekend, I watched the TCS New York City Marathon. I stood in the grandstands, right as the runners came up over the final hill and saw the finish line for the first time. I saw a lot of faces full of euphoria, a lot of eyes full of tears, a lot of fists in the air. It made me feel a lot of things. So I did a stupid thing that night as my girlfriend recounted the race with other finishers: I entered the lottery for the 2023 Chicago Marathon. Now, this doesn't mean I am running. It means I might  be running. You may be wondering, Molly, if you don't get selected in the lottery, why not fundraise and run for charity?   You see, by entering the lottery, I'm leaving it up to fate. If I'm selected, EEK! I'm running a marathon. If I'm not, WHEW! I don't have to run a marathon. It's like a fun little game of Running Russian Roulette that nobody forced me

When I was diagnosed, I learned very quickly that people, especially strangers, really have no idea how to talk to someone who has just revealed that they have cancer. It's no fault of their own - I think (most) people genuinely mean well and sometimes just miss the mark and say something like: "Oh you have colon cancer? My grandpa/uncle/dentist died of that." "You don't look like you have cancer." "But you still have hair!" "Let me know if there's anything I can do."  That last one makes the list because it is an empty statement. I'll explain why later. Then there are the slightly less well-meaning people who think they are helping you but are actually just helping themselves to feel as though they did something good by "helping" someone else:  "Have you tried [insert miracle cure]? You should try [woo-woo magic potion]." I have already written a whole post about these people, so I won't expound on this m

 I saw Wicked  on my birthday. I've seen this show 5 times. I know what happens. I know all the songs. I've seen all the special effects. There are no surprises. And yet, I cried. I cried at least 6 times.  During the opening number, Galinda the Good Witch started singing a line I have always particularly liked the melody of:  And goodness knows, the Wicked's lives are lonely Goodness knows, the Wicked die alone I swiftly felt my chest seize and my throat clench. All of a sudden my eyes were burning with tears. Then the tears were soaking my face. I was full-on silently sobbing. This happened at least 5 more times throughout the rest of the show. (Don't even get me started on Defying Gravity .) It wasn't the lyrics that made me get so emotional. It took a moment for me to realize that it was the thought of being up on that stage, performing. Something I haven't done in nearly 3 years.  Have I thought about getting back into auditioning? Of course. Does it give m

If you came here hoping to read wild conspiracy theories about how chemotherapy is a tool meant to keep the sick sick, you've come to the wrong place. The "truth" in the title of this post refers to what going through chemotherapy treatment is really like, from one person's experience. Going through chemotherapy involves setting a lot of alarms. It involves taking a lot of pills. It involves eating a lot of beige food. It hopefully does not involve a lot of vomiting, if the load of pills you've taken are doing the job they are meant to do.  People going through cancer treatment are often depicted as sickly and pale, with sunken eyes and a scarf around their bald head. Now, I'm not saying that there aren't people who look like this when they go through treatment, because it really does a number on you, but this just seems like the extreme version.  The truth is, a round of chemo doesn't end once they disconnect the IV and send you home. It doesn't e

Have you ever scrolled through Netflix searching for something to watch and you come across a movie you haven't seen in years, and you wonder if it still holds up or if it's a horrible dated mess? I do that with every old movie I watch, but I ask myself: Will this movie hit different now that I have cancer? Take A Walk To Remember  for instance. You know it: Mandy Moore is the dumpy, nerdy preacher's daughter who is revealed to have terminal cancer after making the hunky leading man fall in love with her (but she TOLD HIM NOT TO!!!) and she dies at the end but not before having the wedding of her dreams and doing all the things on her bucket list with the help of Shane West.  I saw that movie in theaters in 2002 with my friend Sara and we cried our EYES out. What a sad movie!! Shane West? What a beautiful man!! And Switchfoot?? What a mediocre Christian soft rock band!!!!! Anyway. You'd think that now that I actually have cancer myself that this movie would absolutely w